So I wanted to sample you people and see how nasty you people think I am or how nasty you people are.
I sorta arranged the options from the top down, it can also pass as a least nasty - more nasty list but maybe not. In all, 20 people voted. I know you can see the result but I'm feeling like a typist and I want to type it. If I vex, I'll get to writing and make all of you read my duck scratch, that's better than chicken scratch right??
So 60% (12) of you thought it was from a hug. Awww, how innocent. Girl walks in, sees boy, says hello and gives hug therefore staining the shirt on the shoulder. Perfect scenario but WRONG!!!
25% (5) thought it was from a kiss. Double awww. Not so innocent but still innocent. Girl walks in, sees boy, says hello and gives a kiss on the cheek or lips (not impossible) therefore staining shirt on collar. Perfect scenario but WRONG!!!
10% (2) thought it was from sucking. Sucking what???? The two of you that voted groin and you know yourself, you are NASTY!!! But it's not impossible. It was at a friend's house and there were rooms we could have disappeared to for a quick quickie therefore staining the shirt in the groin area. Not a perfect scenario but not impossible and WRONG!!!
So nobody voted for nothing. You guys don't think I can lie? Awww, you guys see me as a truthful person, that's so nice, guys. Well, my shirt really did get stained so ...
Wait, I skipped one - 1 person, 5% voted torso. I need this person to come out o. Please show yourself, I have an award for you. Abi, did I vote for myself? My nice white with blue stripes TM Lewin shirt got stained on the torso or chest/belly area, take your pick. So how did it happen??? Till that person that voted comes forward to claim his/her prize, I won't say.
All of you that said it couldn't have been stained in the groin area, don't be deceived o. Sexcapades will never make on blogger though so we'll leave it at that.
Ladies and gentlemoimoi, the one person who voted correctly has been identified. Give it up for Stinger (if you're lying, I will send a pit bull to you). For your award, scroll down to the next red text.
Before I forget, I got the certified honest blogger award and you will have to forgive me but I forgot who gave me. I got it from 2 people actually and I'm too lazy to go dig up who. I also forgot the rules but I know I have to pass it to some people and display it??
Anyways, this is my acceptance speech.
First, I'd like to thank the Lord who made it possible for me to be here today. I'd like to thank my family for their support. My parents who didn't spare the rod and the slaps when I destroyed things just because I wanted to see what made it work.
My brother, Enigma who used to refuse to let me ride with him when he was going out to his friends. Also my sister. You don't know her so leave her alone.
I'll also like to thank my director - my desktop computer, my producer - my laptop/tablet, my screenwriter - my work computer and I cannot forget my makeup artist who's always there with me.
You don't understand, guys. This person makes up for everything my director and producer can't do. When I'm on the go, he's there, when I'm sleeping, he's there. He makes sure I can check blogger at 1am on my bed when my producer and director are in bed. On many occasions, my makeup artist lets me shoot movies and he makes sure the producer gets it right. I've been mean to him guys and I want to apologize. I've dropped him, I've thrown him and I've threatened to replace him, even as recent as 3 days ago. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a standing ovation to my make up artist - my phone the iPhone. *oya, stand and clap now*
Okay, the band has started playing the song to get me off stage so I need to round up. I will like to share this Certified Honest Blogger award with the following people:
Enigma (about time you got one dammit)
Tigeress (shey you will be nice to me now)
Tisha (I actually do think you are honest)
Naija Babe (keep being the meanie you are)
Bumight (we cool now??)
Jarrai (I owe you a diagnosis, I didn't forget o)
Agbero (Abeg, where Sikira dey now?)
Stinger (You don't have one yet, do you?)
They are coming to chase me off the stage now o. If I didn't mention your name, I have you on reserve and if you already got the award, don't be greedy, return it. I can get some change for it on eBay.
The story is coming o people. I was feeling hyper and wanted to type something by force tonight.