Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Father, Dear Father!

How many of you remember that show from back in the days? Well, the father in this case is my father. I've been enjoying my single life jejeli except now, my father has suddenly developed an interest in my love life. He's been asking me who's next on my list and what not and I told him, I have a few options, end of story. My mum caught wind of me talking to 'too close of a friend' but I made sure she also caught wind that I'm not going down that route. She had been bothering me about the chick. Of course, she had some other suggestions that I turned down to her dismay. I don't need my mum pointing out girls to me.


How did it begin?

I became single again (I'm tired of saying this but you have to understand that 4 years of being 'double' is a long time) and my parents have been watching out for who the next girl will be. What they don't realize is I've suspended being in an official relationship for the next 1 year (give or take 6 months, lol). So once my parents hear word of me talking to a girl, they want to find out who and what not. They've even made recommendations and suggestions but what is their own in this matter? I say I no do, na by force?

Anyways, I was at a family party some weeks ago and I sat with a friend that came in from out of state. We were gisting and laughing and all. I'm not close with this girl, I haven't spoken to her in like 6 months but this evening, we were like best buddies, taking pictures, making fun of each other, getting food together and all the stuffs BFFs would do. When it was time for her to leave, I walked her out to her car and promised to stay in touch. What I didn't know was my pops was watching me from across the hall. A couple of days later, my dad asked me if the girl had a boyfriend, I said none that I know of. Next thing he told me was "why don't you 'talk' to her?" I told him she was one of my many options but she was schooling in a different state and I'm not so sure I want to be driving or flying that far. Then he told me the girl's state was not too far to drive or fly to. What the heck??? This was the man that was telling one of his friends that I don't travel o (don't know who told him that) and all of a sudden traveling was not a big deal for me.

As if that was not enough, a few days ago, he asked me how far with my 'search'? What's with his obsession sef? I told him I wasn't searching and I wanted to take some time and settle myself first. I told him I wanted to focus on school, finish and get some other major things done before I bring in someone else into my personal space. My father was like, "what are you trying to settle?", "what major things am you planning that is delaying you?" Then he game me a shocker. My father asked me I wanted him to talk to any of the girls for me? Jesus!!! Why would my dad be toasting a girl for me. Of course, I gave him a huge NO! What was he going to tell them? That I'm a nice guy, gentle and caring or what? Trust me, I know my dad, if I had said 'sure, talk to them', he would have asked for any of the girls' number and called them. He then started singing this old school song about a guy that wanted to marry a girl and her parents refused and gave her to someone else. I just stood in utter disbelief. And as he walked away, he said "better don't waste time, before some other guy snatches them". Y'all should have seen the look on my face. Of course Enigma had a laugh of his day when I gave him the news.
I want some me time, I need some me time and I've got it. Someone please tell my dad to back away from my business. These sudden Americanization of my parents is something else o. I think my mum sent my dad to collect information since I've stopped giving my mum face about it. Make them free me jare. They should get on Enigma's case.


If only they know what I've been up to. If only they knew about oyinbo. Who's oyinbo? Well, leave story, let's just say BB is doing what he came to do. He's handling the kind of business AA is too righteous to handle and he's doing a good job. I am exactly where I want to be and I like it.
There are a couple of other ladies that are chasing me but are not catching me (I don't want them to catch me) and another one I am chasing but don't want to catch (what's my problem sef?).
Anyway, this is what my dad has been americanized into o. This is one of those times when being a good boy bites you in the butt. Apparently, they haven't met BB, nope, they haven't. He does a good job of hiding in the shadows.

I should clarify that my parents are not in my business like that, my pop is just funny like that. He likes using jokes to find out what's going on with you especially when it comes to girls. I'll say they are just being curious except that their curiosity is too much for me. They are not talking marriage by the way (okay, maybe my pops mentioned it once or twice). Read and laugh!





Oh people, guess who called me last week or when sef?

Guess now!

Nooo!

Guess.

You can't?

Fine, I'll tell you.

I cut the answer out 'cause the post got too long. The answer will be coming soon.

42 comments:

archiwiz said...

Beans??? Na me be first!!! Invisible how now?

archiwiz said...

Hey, y'all should check out the new blog - www.tabletdoodles.blogspot.com.

Sorry for the shameless plug.

NaijaScorpio said...

I thot it was only girls and OLDER guys that get this kind of harassment from their parents. This is just too funny. Take ur time and don't be pressured into anything.

P.S. When u initially left comments on my blog, i just assumed u were a chic.

archiwiz said...

LOL...This is hilarious...I thought it was only in my family that guys were bothered like this. Pele...He's just looking out for you.

@Sting...That's how you assumed I was a guy. Now you assumed Invisible was female? Un...believable.

Mz. Dee said...

3RD!! ARCHIWIZ & STING.... make i no catch u!!

Mhmm.. so popsi wants babyboy to get married..:p

Maybe have a talk with him? Tell him ure a grown man and all that stuff... sometimes parents need to be reminded. Ure nt a girl sef so i'm wonderin why he's buggin u much bout it..

Lmao @ callin the girls 4 u! Sum1's daddy's got game o!

Invisible said...

@ Archiwiz, well done with your shameless plug o, lol. The blog looks interesting though. I'm not that old yet now, they don't need to start looking out just yet.

@ Sting, my younger sister does not get harassed o. In fact she's jealous that they are not asking her about her boyfriend sef. You can be sure I'm not going be pressured. I think they think I'm lonely, lol. I thought you were a guy too till I saw all the color jamboree on your page.

@ Mz. Dee, I don't think my parents have come to terms with the fact they all their kids are grown. Harsh reality for them I guess, lol. He might have game but not on my level. lol.

Enigma said...

Still laughing men!

You aint seen nothing yet, they started chasing me Nov 2003!!!

At least you've taken the heat off me..now that they are discussing halls and what not!

Jay said...

Hahahahah..i am just laughing, your folks are on a mission. Glad to see we are all in the same boat...sharing the frustation

My mum is threathening to "fast" for my husband to arrive lol lol.

I just don't know what to do anymore...i just say yes ma to everything she says.

funkola said...

lol @ d whole post and jarrai. my mum did the same thing, it was crazy.
invisible, i'll gladly loan u my "single in the city" blog-(www.funkolaani.blogspot.com) till u find someone. i'm done with it now;-)

Smaragd said...

LMAO!

first off, ur handwriting is horrible!lol, pls dont do the tablet thingy.

then, how old are u? are u the first child or the only? i have to ask because it seems ur parents are eager to have grandchildren or sth.

my mum is as bad and my dad does his with style BUT then again I am girl!

u either move out of their house (i assume u live with them, or how else are they so in ur biz?)

OR

u just ignore them.

being single can be loads of fun, it does become a drag after a while. i should know.

p.s.
like Sting,i also thot u were a girl.

Tigeress said...

wow wow wow!!! goodluck with ur parents. I kinda sense ur parents feel u getting married is for their benefit. My dear, u're young- do not be pressured. marraige is for a life time o- no need to rush. plus u're a young man. when u meet the right babe- u'll know. As for ur parents they need to thank God i'm not their daughter- i wld have gone gangsta on them. lol!

As for my mother, grand mother & Aunts- they will all be ok!! They can continue praying- in fact they need to intensify their prayers and not forget to mention i need a 6D job.

Invisible said...

@ Enigma, you needed to be chased ;-)

@ Jarrai, they can't get on that level yet. Attention is on Enigma now. For those that know, he's my elder brother.

@ Funkola, thanks for the offer. I'm not looking for someone though. That's the thing, I'm single and available not single and looking. lol

@ Esmeralda, ouch. I was writing in frustration. For that, I will write again. I have an older brother (Enigma) and he better start cranking those pikins out within 2 years.

@ tigress, no pressure here for sure. Even if right babe comes now, she'll have to pause for some time.

Just so y'all know, my pop doesn't do this as a "sit down, lemme talk to you thing". It's usually in a joking manner, but with a hint of seriousness. My parents are funny like that.

badderchic said...

this is hiclub, this is hilarious, welcome to the club, my people have been asking since i turned 20. heheheheh

wo aburo o mo pe ooo ni game popc de fe help e, o de n sako. psheeeew

Unknown said...

so ur parents want u to settle down
its part of life.
funny thing
do it when u r ready
some pple usually need a push sha
they love u but u
go make the
final decision
whatever.
nice blog!

miz-cynic said...

nice post.my mom threatened 2 invite my ex 4 sunday lunch so i ran far far away 2 d airport from d island o

Buttercup said...

hahahahaha gosh! its like all parents planned to do this, my parents arent any diff..ok, maybe they r more subtle..ur dad, gosh..ROTFLOL!!!!!!

uh, how old r u??

how cud the post be 'too long' for a name?? hisssssssssssss

im guessin its either gold digger or the girl from ur too close of a friend post??

NaijaBabe said...

Lol...this is sooooooooo funny!!!!

I thot it was only girls that got this kind of messages. Good to know you guys get it tooo haha.

I'd like to know what havoc BB has wreaked in that arena...I hope its something AA can save face for should the time come to own up to you DEEDS!!!!

NaijaBabe said...

DONT LAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

NaijaBabe said...

No she didnt...infact i refused to touch any food in her house for fear that it might have some subtle hints of alcohol in it...well except the juice of which I opened myself...so i knew it hadnt been MIXED!!! I dont think i'll be visiting fo a long TIME

bumight said...

a lot of naija parents in America do that, especially if they want you to marry a nigerian.
my parents know not to do that or else I wont call home for the next 6 months! and they know it too!

i also didnt know that enigma's ur brother. cool stuff!

so since u want to remain single for 6mo - 1year, by my calculations *thinking* I think I should come back around end of february - March, abi? lol!

NaijaBabe said...

LOL....it is!!! I am paranoid like that. And shouldnt you be paying attention in class??

NaijaBabe said...

what how long is your class??? 4 hours?? thats pure torture...I think I'd have been asleep

NaijaBabe said...

pshewww...lucky!!! but 4 hours? damn...I hope you do get breaks. So which one of u is listening and who isnt?? AA.BB?? whats ur email btw?

Invisible said...

@ badder, glad to see you got a good laugh. Yabbing me about game? If not because I dont play cyber games, I for 'spit' some on you. Pscheew, lol

@ Tisha, "settle down"??? Not yet o. They can be rest assured, I won't need pushing. Thanks.

@ Cynic, invite your ex over ?? I can be sure my folks won't do that. I don't think they like her that much anymore.

@ b'cup. More subtle, hmmm, my dad knows I will finish him if he tries that joke in public. My age? You are a gbeborun!!!

@ naijababe, I don't think you need my response, lol.

@ bumight, I know right. I prefer naija too though. lol @ not calling. You can come in 4 months, for you, I'll waive my condition, lol *wink*

theicequeen said...

loooool! so this post acutally made me visualize how my own will be in a couple of years.Most likely, it will start with my dad (what's up with the dads sef?)..he will start hinting how i am a"woman" and one day i will have to live in my "husbands" house, do i know? and how far my job ehn? do i plan to move to a place where my "husband" will find okay?

buahahah, okay, so this just got really hilarious! just be warning the chics you hang around with o! so they are very prepared,before the parents feel like talking to you is pointless and start "hinting" at them. :D

MissBalance said...

No, no, this is HILARIOUS! I don't even know what to tell you cuz
1. Different gender ... lol
2. Different shoes!
Good to know there's no pressure.
So what's the name??? Update!

badderchic said...

Invis,

I am still your snr sistah, ma lo na gere o!

Buttercup said...

hahahaha...im just tryna figure out y ur dad is on ur case..knowin ur age might help.. :D

exschoolnerd said...

abi o! i thot twas only girls that were harassed like this,good to know yall r having a lil taste..lol at ur dad asking u i he shud help u talk to them..lol..i can imagine if sum dude's father called me up...and was toasting me on behalf of his son!! id have a good laugh!

Toluwa said...

thot only girls had this issue..well welcome to our world...

Afronuts said...

Haa...oh dear...

I hope uoyinbo is not a guy oh..

this one wey u dey resist every gyal wey dey show face

ibiluv said...

which one be oyibo?
ur babe?

na so parents be.....na love!!!!!!!
endure it....some people dont have parents to bug them or they have parents that dont care!!!!!!!

count ya blessings!!!!!!!!!

Rebirth said...

whick kain guessing game????? ehn?
lol @ ur parents interfering. they need u to settle down so hurry and give them grand kids...
erm, whos oyinbo?

Invisible said...

@ icequeen, lol @ your second paragraph. You know, thanks for that tip. I know it's something my dad can do playfully.

@ brownsugar, no pressure on me, that's for sure. The name, it's not that hard to figure actually but I'll fill you guys in soon.

@ badder, lol

@ b'cup, I'm trying to stay as invisible as possible but I'll tell you I'm in my 20s. Does that help, lol.

@ exschoolnerd, the day he does that is the day me and him will have a boxing match, lol

@ J.T, I guess my sister will start feeling the heat in a couple of years then.

@ afronuts, that's just nasty! I don't swing that way o, lailai, oyinbo is a girl, omo pupa rodorodo.

@ ibi, oyinbo is not my babe o. Me and oyinbo are just "friends", fill in the gap ;-). Oh, I appreciate my parents and I don't take it for granted. I'm not tripping about it, I like that they are bothering me, I just wanted y'all to laugh about it.

@ funms, guess now, lol. Nah, I have an older brother who's getting close to doing that. They should harass him for grand kids first. I'm still years away from that.

For those that want to know about oyinbo, I will have to give you more info about BB. Keep an eye out.

bumight said...

lol, as my future investment, I need to blog roll u ASAP!

Buttercup said...

DUH!!! of course u r in ur 20s!

ok ok, i get u..i wont ask again!

miz-cynic said...

My guess 4 ur age is 26 n i tnk im right

Enigma said...

Bu ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!

Invisible said...

@ bumight, I'm still learning blogging lingo o. Which one is blog rolling?

@ b'cup, okay, I'm in my mid 20s, take your pick, lol.

@ cynic, well, I'm not there yet o. E remain small.

@ Enigma, wetin dey laugh you?? Rubbish boy, lol.

miz-cynic said...

sighs.....

Anonymous said...

hahahahah!!!

the day ma pops becomes like that ma jaw will drop to the floor mehn...

Padosh said...

LOL!! Poor man wants grandchildren ASAP!!!!
I was literally rolling on the floor wen he asked you if u wanted him to chyke someone for you. oh my!!! ur dad is very funny he sounds really cool though!.